What Does Anti Romantic Mean In LGBTQ

What Does Anti Romantic Mean In LGBTQ?

Last Updated on April 24, 2024 by Kimberlee Johnson

As someone who champions the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals, I’ve come across the phrase “anti-romantic” within the community. My curiosity lies in understanding – in the context of LGBTQ+, what does this term signify?

At its core, it’s a way of thinking that questions the usual ideas about love and relationships. While most people embrace romance, there’s an interesting group that doesn’t.

In this short piece, we’ll dig into what being anti-romantic means in the LGBTQ+ world and how it helps people be true to themselves.

What Does “Anti-romantic” Mean In The LGBTQ Context?

Gay Couple Having a Conversation

If an LGBTQ+ person is described as ‘anti-romantic’, they don’t experience romantic attraction or a desire for romantic relationships. 

This might be because they are aromantic, meaning they don’t usually feel romantic attraction [1] to others, regardless of gender or sex. 

But this doesn’t stop them from forming long-lasting and caring relationships with others. It includes companionship and support without feeling like it needs to be a romantic relationship. 

Besides, aromantic people often face issues in societies that prioritize romance and are subjected to oppression due to amatonormativity. 

Being anti-romantic or aromantic can apply to anyone, no matter their sexual orientation. But what does two-spirit mean in the LGBTQ acronym?

What Are The Traits Of An Anti-romantic?

The traits of an anti-romantic within the LGBTQ+ community are characterized by a distinct perspective on practical relationships instead of an idealized one or often seen as transactional. 

They prefer long-lasting friendships and intellectual compatibility over romantic relationships and usually cherish their independence. 

These people may find fulfillment in personal growth and achievements rather than chasing traditional romantic aspirations. 

Find out the representation of the Pride Movement here.

Romantic & Anti-romanticism: What’s The Difference?

The difference between romantic and romanticism is one must keep in mind that the former has a strong preference for an idealization of life, while the latter tends to study life from a more practical perspective.

Romantic individuals within the LGBTQ+ community value traditional forms of love and connection, like romance, gestures, and commitment. 

“The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody.” 

Rita Mae Brown, American Writer 

On the other hand, anti-romantics might prioritize deeper friendships, intellectual compatibility, or personal growth regarding relationships and connection. 

Can You Be Aromantic & Still Want To Date?

Absolutely. You can be aromantic and still have an interest in dating. 

Wanting to date as an aromantic person might come from a desire for companionship, emotional closeness, or simply enjoying the activities associated with dating. 

For some, dating may focus more on building deep friendships or exploring shared interests rather than pursuing romantic involvement. 

Read: Which Zodiac Sign Has The Highest Likelihood Of Being LGBTQ?

What Are Signs That You Are Anti-Romantic?

Gay Couple Holding Hands

1. Lack Of Desire For Romantic Relationships

An individual may identify as anti-romantic if they do not feel a desire for romantic relations. This could mean they remain single or opt for platonic relationships instead. 

Anti-romantic people may not like conventional labels such as ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ and may feel more at home with asexual, grey-asexual or demisexual relationships. 

2. Preferring Platonic Relationships

Those that prefer platonic relationships usually aren’t searching for a romantic one. 

Instead, they connect with people intellectually and enjoy conversing about shared interests without all the extra pressures associated with romance. 

3. Inability To Relate To Romantic Feelings

If someone is not interested in romantic activities, like giving presents or eating dinner as a loving couple, they may be anti-romantic. 

They typically avoid doing things other people do together romantically because it makes them uncomfortable, or they might have difficulty relating or understanding their feelings.

4. No Distinct “Crushes”

Unlike individuals who often experience intense romantic attractions towards specific people, anti-romantic people may not develop such crushes [2] or feel infatuated similarly.

“Being anti-romantic in the LGBTQ+ context is a rebellion against societal expectations, where the focus shifts from chasing romantic partners to building genuine and profound connections based on shared passions, values, and camaraderie.” 

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Instead, they prioritize connections based on shared interests, deep friendships, or intellectual compatibility. 

5. Enjoyment Of Solitude

While not exclusive to aromantic individuals, you may thoroughly enjoy your own company and independence and not feel the need for a romantic partner to feel complete or happy.

6. Discomfort With Romantic Gestures

Anti-romantic people might find romantic gestures unnecessary, too dramatic, or not their cup of tea. 

Rather, they may prefer more subtle or non-romantic ways of showing affection and connection. 

Also Read: How Will You Explain LGBTQ To A Kid?


Why do some people avoid romantic relationships?

Some people avoid romantic relationships because they fear getting hurt or being betrayed. 

Is it normal to have no interest in romance?

It is normal for people to have no interest in romance, as everyone is different and has different preferences.

Can you become an aromantic all of a sudden?

Sometimes, people might suddenly realize they are aromantic after they learn about it or if they experience trauma. 

But being aromantic is not something that “suddenly” develops. It’s usually a part of who a person is, and it takes time to understand this about oneself.

Check out these special days to celebrate Pride Month here.

In Summary

In conclusion, understanding what “anti-romantic” means in the LGBTQ+ community reveals an interesting aspect of relationships. 

While connecting with this diverse community, I’ve met people who don’t prioritize traditional romance. 

Instead, they value deep friendships, intellectual companionship, or personal growth. 

Respecting and acknowledging this perspective is important, as it challenges societal norms and shows that love can take different forms. 


Kimberlee Johnson
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