Mother's Day When Your Mother Was Abusive

How To Deal With Mother’s Day When Your Mother Was Abusive

Last Updated on February 23, 2024 by Kimberlee Johnson

Dealing with Mother’s Day can be challenging for those who have endured a toxic relationship with their mother. However, it doesn’t have to be a time of sorrow and mourning.

Instead, it can be an opportunity to reflect on your relationship with your mother and to think about how you can move forward in a healthier, more positive way. 

So, how can you deal with Mother’s day when your mother was abusive? 

Let’s take a moment to pause and consider how you can make the most of this day and find peace and understanding. 

7 Helpful Tips To Handle Mother’s Day If Your Mother Was Abusive

angry woman

1. Set Boundaries

Talk with your mother and tell her you’d like to celebrate Mother’s Day with her but won’t accept any abusive behavior. 

Plus, be clear and direct with your expectations and the consequences if your boundaries are not respected.

Check out these Mother’s Day messages to tell your boyfriend’s mom here.

2. Honor Your Feelings 

Processing the emotions surrounding Mother’s day can be challenging if your relationship with your mom has been marred by abuse. 

A crucial step in managing the situation is honoring your feelings. Acknowledge your hurt, anger, and sadness, and recognize it’s valid. 

Besides, take time for yourself to care for your emotions. Consider activities such as yoga [1], journaling, or taking a nature walk to relax and process your thoughts. 

3. Plan Ahead

Take time to plan for Mother’s Day. Set daily goals to manage your mental, physical, and emotional health. 

It’s okay to take short breaks when needed. Choose activities to do alone or with others that are meaningful and enjoyable. 

4. Create New Traditions

Creating new traditions can help you move on and find peace. 

You could do something special for someone else in remembrance of your mother, take time to grieve, or focus on yourself and your needs. 

“When you abuse someone, you limit their perspective, and you trap them in your view of them or your view of the world.”

Tara Westover, American Memoirist

Plus, you can celebrate it with the mother figure who has been supportive and loving or positively impacted your life.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Focusing on your mental and emotional health can help you manage the complex emotions that may arise from having an abusive mother. 

Taking time out to focus on yourself by doing something you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or working on a hobby, is an easy way to practice self-care.

6. Reflect On Personal Growth

Taking a moment to ponder your personal development is a powerful and healing activity, especially during Mother’s Day when painful recollections of an abusive relationship with your mom might emerge. 

Recognize the hurdles you’ve overcome and the strides you’ve made in moving forward, which shows your incredible courage and determination. 

Concentrate on the insights gained, the emotional expansion, and the healthy boundaries you’ve set up in your life. 

7. Reach Out For Support

Seeking the comfort and assistance of others is a fundamental and soothing approach.

You’ll gain understanding and reassurance on this emotionally charged occasion by contacting compassionate friends, joining support circles, or consulting mental health experts.  

But can you still celebrate Mother’s Day if you’re expecting a child?

What Are The Long-term Impacts Of Having An Abusive Mother?

A Woman Angry

Having an abusive mother can have long-term consequences that extend far beyond childhood. 

These can include psychological and emotional issues such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, difficulty trusting others, and physical issues like chronic headaches, stomach pains, and fatigue. 

Besides, individuals may struggle to form relationships, have trouble sleeping, or engage in unhealthy behaviors such as substance abuse, self-harm, or eating disorders. 

How Can You Overcome Having An Abusive Mother?

If you’ve had an abusive mother, it’s important to recognize that it’s not your fault. 

Take steps to protect yourself, like seeking counseling, setting boundaries, and removing yourself from the situation as needed. 

To rebuild your self-esteem, focus on activities that make you feel good about yourself and seek out positive people for support. 

Practice healthy coping skills like mindfulness or journaling to help process your emotions. 

Also Read: Mother’s Day Gift Ideas For A Mom Who Lost Her Child


What should you do about an emotionally abusive mother?

If your mother is emotionally abusive [2], it’s crucial to take action to protect yourself and find support. 

It could mean setting boundaries, staying calm, talking to someone you trust, reaching out to a therapist or domestic violence hotline, identifying abusive patterns, and trying to express your emotions. 

What happens to kids with abusive parents?

Children who experience abuse from their parents may suffer from long-term emotional and physical health problems, difficulties in school, and psychological trauma. 

Hence, authorities will keep the kid in protective custody when that issue is reported to authorities. 

Final Words

Mother’s Day can be complicated for those who have experienced an abusive relationship with their mother. 

But it’s important to remember that no one deserves to be treated this way and that there is hope for a better future. 

You can get through the painful feelings left behind from a toxic relationship by seeking help from a mental health professional or a support group.

Celebrate Mother’s Day by taking steps to heal, and know that a brighter future awaits.


Kimberlee Johnson
Follow me

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *