How To Ask A Guy What He Wants From You

How To Ask A Guy What He Wants From You: 8 Ways To Know

Last Updated on March 23, 2024 by Kimberlee Johnson

Do you often wonder what a man expects from you?

Do you need help with how to approach the subject in a way that is respectful and non-confrontational? 

Asking a guy what he wants from you can be an intimidating experience, but it doesn’t have to be. 

With the right approach, you can have a meaningful conversation that can open the door to greater understanding and clarity. 

As such, our team will provide simple steps you can take on how to ask a guy what he wants from you and start a productive conversation.

8 Simple Tips To Ask The Guy What He Wants From You

couple talking

1. Be Direct & Clear

Ask the guy straight up what he wants from you and the relationship. This avoids any misunderstandings and shows that you are serious about your intentions. 

But when being direct and clear, it is important to be discreet and respectful. Avoid accusing language or being overly aggressive.

2. Choose The Right Time

Pick a time when the two of you are relaxed and can have an open and honest conversation [1]. 

Avoid discussing sensitive topics when either of you is in a rush or upset. 

“A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other… maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.” 

Dave Matthews, American Singer-Songwriter

It is best to avoid asking him when he is stressed or angry, as this could lead to an argument or a negative response. 

The time of day is also essential. 

So, choose a convenient time for both of you, such as when you are both free and can focus on the conversation. Try to pick a time when there is less distraction. 

3. Listen Actively

Pay close attention to what the guy says and show that you are engaged in the conversation by nodding, asking clarifying questions, and summarizing what you’ve heard. 

If you can do this, you will better understand what he wants from you and how you can best meet his needs. 

This will also help create a more positive relationship between you and the guy. But how can you be a gentleman to a lady?

4. Avoid Assumptions

Don’t make assumptions about what the guy wants from you before he can express himself. 

By avoiding assumptions [2], you will be able to get a better idea of what it is that he is looking for. 

And by assuming things, you risk making incorrect assumptions about the situation and could end up in a situation you were unprepared for which are misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

5. Be Open To Different Perspectives

Be open to hearing the guy’s point of view and be prepared to compromise. Make sure to ask open-ended questions and avoid leading questions that will only lead to a specific answer. 

The more open you are to different perspectives, the better your chances of understanding what he wants and needs from you. 

Plus, the relationship may sometimes differ from what you want, but it’s essential to be flexible and work together.

6. Be Honest

When asking a guy what he wants from you, you must be honest about your feelings and expectations. 

You need to be honest with him about what you want and need from the relationship and any concerns or issues you may have. 

It will allow him to discuss the issue and take steps to resolve it. If a guy is not being honest with you, then it’s likely he’s not being honest with himself. 

Hence, this helps to build trust and ensures that both of you are on the same page.

7. Use “I” Statements

Instead of blaming the guy or making accusations, use “I” statements to express your feelings and concerns. For example, “I feel confused about what you want from me.” 

This will help him focus on his feelings and thoughts rather than getting defensive when you ask him what he wants. 

It allows you to express yourself clearly and directly while respecting your feelings. 

With this approach, it will be easier for him to understand what you’re asking and to open up to you about what he needs from the relationship.

8. Be Respectful

Treat the guy with respect and kindness, even if you disagree with him or don’t like what he says.

A respectful and understanding attitude can help smooth conflicts and improve the relationship. 

Acknowledge their point of view and be open to compromise if necessary. You should also be willing to discuss any topics that are important to them. 

At the same time, respect the other person’s limits. Don’t push them too hard or try to force them into saying what they don’t want to. 

This can make them feel uncomfortable or frustrated, making it much more challenging to have an open and honest conversation. 

Also Read: 9 Romantic Ways To Ask A Guy To Be Your Valentine

20 Questions To Help You Find Out A Man’s True Motives

Man and Woman Talking

1. For how long you have been seeking a serious relationship?

2. What do you want out of a relationship? 

3. Are you looking for something long-term? 

4. What do you think are the essential qualities of a partner? 

5. What kind of qualities are you looking for in a partner? 

6. What is your ideal relationship? 

7. How do you handle commitment? 

8. Are you interested in a casual or serious relationship? 

9. What are your expectations for a relationship? 

10. What are your intentions for pursuing a relationship with me?

11. Do you want to get married one day?

12. What type of commitment are you looking for? 

13. Do you believe in monogamy? 

14. Are you looking for something more than just physical?

15. Do you plan on living with your partner in the future? 

16. Are you ready for a committed relationship?

17. Are you looking for a relationship that will last? 

18. Do you plan on having children in the future? 

19. Do you want to be in a committed relationship for the long haul?

20. What values are important to you in a relationship?

Check out these simple ways to ask someone what they want for their birthday here.


Is it alright to ask a guy what his intentions are?

Yes, it is alright to ask someone about their intentions. However, it is important to frame the question respectfully to ensure the conversation does not become uncomfortable.

Find out how you can determine someone’s age without asking here.

How to ask a guy via text message what he wants from you?

Start by asking him what he’s looking for in a relationship, and let him know you’re open to discussing it. 

Keep your text messages light and friendly; this can help diffuse any awkwardness he may feel about being asked.

But what should you talk about over FaceTime with a man?

Wrapping Up

Ultimately, asking a guy what he wants from you can be scary, but it’s important to remember that you’re both in this together and that communication is vital. 

It’s an excellent opportunity to have a meaningful conversation and get to know each other on a deeper level. 

Don’t be afraid, be honest and open, and stay positive and open-minded. 


Kimberlee Johnson
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